When Did People Become So Anti-Voices and Real Laughter?
-
The Lost Art of Conversation: Why We Need It Back
When Did People Become So Anti-Voices and Real Laughter? We create unforgettable experiences by combining your vision with our unmatched skills for standout celebrations. 14-day free trial
So I was born in 1980, I’m 44 from Los Angeles and I’m a licensed educational psychologist and certified clinical ADHD specialist and a certified clinical telehealth professional. I never had any significant issues as our world became increasingly tech-dependent…. until about 3 years ago. I have friends and relatives all over the US and everyone is busy, working hard, trying to adjust to adulting and parenting, etc. I was always a very outgoing, talkative, social, such a people person. I was the guy with a zillion friends, liked by many, loved by my closest circles, I was respected and often counted on to help friends when they were let go from their job, had a relative deported, going through a divorce, you name it, I was always more than willing to do anything for my loved ones. My best friends, my bros, and my fam. I always really enjoyed spending my commute home from work calling a friend to catch up. I’d call, they’d pick up and greet me with so much excitement. There he is!! Man it’s good to hear your voice!! What’s good?? And we’d catch each other up and have some laughs. Not a lol text, not a laughing so hard I’m crying emoji, no. Real laughter. The kind you hear with your ears and if you’re really lucky, sometimes you get to see their face while cracking up hysterically. Then one day, EVERYBODY stopped answering their phone and responded to my calls with a text. The texts would say things like…. My boy!! Sooo good to hear from you. I miss you, bro! What’s good? How’s your daughter? How’s work?
Well…. I’m thinking at first, good lord, is Generation X, who used to pity the next generation for not having any deep or meaningful back and forth conversations in person. Look at them! They’re together but they don’t even look at each other! They just stare at their phones! What’s with all the anti-social behavior? And of course, covid and social distancing and quarantine only made everyone way more messed up than anyone either realizes or cares to admit. Now? My generation is getting on board the “texting no talking” train. So, what could I do? I just tried to go with the flow. So I texted people back and answered all those questions in a text. What I’ve been up to, what my kid has been up to, any significant info or a funny story about work, etc.
Now before I tell you what happened next, allow me to explain. For the first 40 years of my life, I was the guy that was spoiled rotten, not with money and possessions, but with an abundance of beautiful friendships, I married who I thought was the girl of my dreams and I looked forward to our dinner conversations every night. Everything was going great. I actually LOVED MySpace when it was brand new, before FB, I had just graduated college and came home for the summer all depressed that the 4-year fantasy was over. Back at my parents about to start my post graduate program. I would’ve been miserable but MySpace was so much fun, you got to design your page, make it your own, I changed the song that played on my page every week. I kept in touch with tons of people. It really helped with the transition. Then one day someone said MySpace sucks, it’s all about FB, so we shrugged our shoulders and switched to FB. I didn’t like how boring it was. I didn’t think it was nearly as fun or enticing as MySpace but apparently everyone else disagreed. They all preferred the plain jane style, I never ever considered myself NOT computer savvy until I was the only one complaining that it wasn’t user friendly.
Once I got used to FB, started to enjoy posting pics, getting tagged, and at first it was kind of cool seeing other friends on my FB were “liking” my pics or posts. But I got over that super quick and for the last several years, every since Instagram and hashtags, I’m the only person on earth that couldn’t for the life of me, understand why my friends would take a picture of their meal and then put #dinner #gourmet #thai #healthy #iamdrinkingmilk I had no shame asking. I understood what the hashtags did, their purpose, I just didn’t understand, AT ALL, why people felt they needed to use them and nobody gave me an answer. In fact, several people said, “I just do it because everyone else does. Haha.” Nobody wanted to admit that they were trying to increase the probability of their post reaching more users and ultimately getting more likes. Once I realized that hashtags and then the pattern of girls taking a million selfies in thew bathroom for likes… I said ooooohhhhhhhhh…. the insecurities that get exposed because we’ve become a society of people who would rather a guy give them a “like” on their pic than have a guy give them an orgasm. I’ve gone as long as two years this decade without any social media. My ex wife and I used to have amazing talks and amazing sex before sleepy time. One night, she was scrolling on Instagram and hasn’t stopped ever since. My friends have stopped talking, laughing, dancing, playing, joking, attending, engaging, everyone is always scrolling. Working, parenting and scrolling are an adult’s big 3. So a guy like me, 30 year friendships, always told my best qualities were my personality, sense of humor, depth, heart, and my ability to connect with people through quality conversation and discussion. Communication skills used to be everything. Social skills used to include things like: initiating interaction, making eye contact, not interrupting, active listening, and an extra special social skills I had, according to my friends and their friends and their friends…. I had game! I had no fear. I loved being brave enough and confident enough to spark up a conversation with anyone at any given time. Ladies loved my confidence and they liked how I would break the ice, put good vibes in the air, and fun nights were always had.
I remember when people looked at me like I’ve been in a coma and just woke up 50 years later when I told them I’ve never sent a tweet or a snap. I don’t get it. I don’t want to get it. Well, everyone adapted to twitter culture. 40 characters or less. So about 3 years ago, not only did the phone calls stop and I was limited to everyone’s only preference, texting. However, I guess I wasn’t ready to face the fact that nobody wants to talk OR read so it’s texting only, and if a text takes longer than 3 seconds to read, you’re dropped. I found out all those social skills no longer fit today’s society. Having good social skills today means liking as many pics and vids and posts on social media as possible, sending the shortest texts possible, and understanding that telling stories, reminiscing and bringing up old times, telling jokes, actual discussion, healthy debate, and hearing real laughter are soooooo last decade. Now, remember the kid who sat in back of class in high school with a hood on and their head on their desk, never said a word to anybody? That’s the new prom queen!! Haha. Everyone prefers that now because that person doesn’t inconvenience you by forcing you to use your attention, focus, resist distractions, and take 30 seconds to read a text. You won’t talk to me, you texted me 7 questions. I answered them. He replied, “why you texting me a novel?” That was the first time someone said that to me but it would become extremely common.
I apologized to people and promised to be cognizant of the length of my texts. Nope. I don’t know how to summarize. I’ve always been a talker and I’ve always loved expressing myself both verbally and through writing. Everyone gravitated toward me because of my words. One of my hobbies is screenwriting. I refuse to use AI. I’ll be using it eventually because I’ll have no choice. Now, about a year ago I went to a funeral. Afterward, I’m chatting to lots of old friends I haven’t seen in a long time. I asked about 20 people my age: So, what are your thoughts on suddenly becoming a text only society? These were the only 2 answers I got. About half of them said, “Oh I love it. I hate talking. I’m all for it.” (I thought, so you hated the thousands of conversations we’ve had over the years? Since when do you hate talking??? It was so bizarre.) The other response: “Yeah it’s kinda strange, but, ya know, gotta adapt and just go with it.” And they all said it in such a…. it is what it is and theres nothing we can do about it so might as well learn to embrace our nonverbal society. I felt like I was in the twilight zone. I thought all 20 of the Gen Xers were gonna say, “All I wanna do is hear a real laugh for once! I miss everyone’s distinct voice and distinct laugh. And I can do dishes while talking on the phone, I can fold laundry, I can’t do anything at all when I’m texting and I’m losing about 90 minutes of productivity a day because instead of getting things done while talking or talking while driving, I’m standing in one spot doing one thing only. Responding to texts. I had a friend in college that was one of my all time favorite people to talk to in person. Best smile, super witty, best vibes. She always said my voice was my sexiest attribute after my blue eyes. Well when I called her about a year ago, she didn’t pick up. She texted me, why would you call? Who calls people? I said, you don’t like talking anymore either? She said, “I’d rather walk barefoot through snow for miles than talk on the phone.” I reminded her, you used to say you loved my voice more than anything, are you saying you never wanna hear my voice again? She said, “I guess. Yup. That’s how anti-talking and pro-texting I am. So, of course I send her a lengthy text catching her up on my divorce. after pouring my heart out, she said, “Sucks. No need to text a novel though.” I said, “Shit! Sorry!!”
Am I the last person, not counting geriatrics, that genuinely misses phone calls for actual conversations? And texts were just for “I’m leaving in 5 min.” or “I’m in the lobby.” Texting was for messages too short where there was no point in calling. But now, everyone seems unaware that they are completely brainwashed. These are all the same people that teased millenials and especially Gen Z for never speaking to each other. Never having any physical interaction. We’d say stuff like, kids today have best friends that they’ve never met, they are online buddies and play video games together online but they’ve never met. How tragic. Man, we used to have confidence and we’d approach girls and talk to them, listen to them, ask them to dance, and then ask for a phone number. If I got a phone number, it led to a first date 99% of the time. Over the last 3 months, I’ve chatted girls up in line for coffee and ended up sitting and chatting with 3 of them. All 4 gave me their number and acted very interested and said things like, “You better text me. I don’t give my number out like, ever.” One said, “I feel like I’ve known you forever! You’re so easy to talk to. You want my number?” All 4 of these women never responded to my text (I waited 2 days) “It was so good meeting you the other day. How was your weekend?” That’s it. Nothing too forward or pushy. Nothing. Ghosted. When it happened the first time, I didn’t trip. The second time? I didn’t understand. I thought, she was loving our conversation! She asked me to exchange numbers!! Since I can’t send long texts, I needed a way to express myself so I figured I’d try blogging and maybe someone will read this, it will resonate with you and maybe someone will say, “You’re not alone.” Love to hear thoughts. Thanks for reading everyone.
-
Hello world!
Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start writing!
So I was born in 1980, I’m 44 from Los Angeles and I’m a licensed educational psychologist and certified clinical ADHD specialist and a certified clinical telehealth professional. I never had any significant issues as our world became increasingly tech-dependent…. until about 3 years ago. I have friends and relatives all over the US and everyone is busy, working hard, trying to adjust to adulting and parenting, etc. I was always a very outgoing, talkative, social, such a people person. I was the guy with a zillion friends, liked by many, loved by my closest circles, I was respected and often counted on to help friends when they were let go from their job, had a relative deported, going through a divorce, you name it, I was always more than willing to do anything for my loved ones. My best friends, my bros, and my fam. I always really enjoyed spending my commute home from work calling a friend to catch up. I’d call, they’d pick up and greet me with so much excitement. There he is!! Man it’s good to hear your voice!! What’s good?? And we’d catch each other up and have some laughs. Not a lol text, not a laughing so hard I’m crying emoji, no. Real laughter. The kind you hear with your ears and if you’re really lucky, sometimes you get to see their face while cracking up hysterically. Then one day, EVERYBODY stopped answering their phone and responded to my calls with a text. The texts would say things like…. My boy!! Sooo good to hear from you. I miss you, bro! What’s good? How’s your daughter? How’s work?
Well…. I’m thinking at first, good lord, is Generation X, who used to pity the next generation for not having any deep or meaningful back and forth conversations in person. Look at them! They’re together but they don’t even look at each other! They just stare at their phones! What’s with all the anti-social behavior? And of course, covid and social distancing and quarantine only made everyone way more messed up than anyone either realizes or cares to admit. Now? My generation is getting on board the “texting no talking” train. So, what could I do? I just tried to go with the flow. So I texted people back and answered all those questions in a text. What I’ve been up to, what my kid has been up to, any significant info or a funny story about work, etc.
Now before I tell you what happened next, allow me to explain. For the first 40 years of my life, I was the guy that was spoiled rotten, not with money and possessions, but with an abundance of beautiful friendships, I married who I thought was the girl of my dreams and I looked forward to our dinner conversations every night. Everything was going great. I actually LOVED MySpace when it was brand new, before FB, I had just graduated college and came home for the summer all depressed that the 4-year fantasy was over. Back at my parents about to start my post graduate program. I would’ve been miserable but MySpace was so much fun, you got to design your page, make it your own, I changed the song that played on my page every week. I kept in touch with tons of people. It really helped with the transition. Then one day someone said MySpace sucks, it’s all about FB, so we shrugged our shoulders and switched to FB. I didn’t like how boring it was. I didn’t think it was nearly as fun or enticing as MySpace but apparently everyone else disagreed. They all preferred the plain jane style, I never ever considered myself NOT computer savvy until I was the only one complaining that it wasn’t user friendly.
Once I got used to FB, started to enjoy posting pics, getting tagged, and at first it was kind of cool seeing other friends on my FB were “liking” my pics or posts. But I got over that super quick and for the last several years, every since Instagram and hashtags, I’m the only person on earth that couldn’t for the life of me, understand why my friends would take a picture of their meal and then put #dinner #gourmet #thai #healthy #iamdrinkingmilk I had no shame asking. I understood what the hashtags did, their purpose, I just didn’t understand, AT ALL, why people felt they needed to use them and nobody gave me an answer. In fact, several people said, “I just do it because everyone else does. Haha.” Nobody wanted to admit that they were trying to increase the probability of their post reaching more users and ultimately getting more likes. Once I realized that hashtags and then the pattern of girls taking a million selfies in thew bathroom for likes… I said ooooohhhhhhhhh…. the insecurities that get exposed because we’ve become a society of people who would rather a guy give them a “like” on their pic than have a guy give them an orgasm. I’ve gone as long as two years this decade without any social media. My ex wife and I used to have amazing talks and amazing sex before sleepy time. One night, she was scrolling on Instagram and hasn’t stopped ever since. My friends have stopped talking, laughing, dancing, playing, joking, attending, engaging, everyone is always scrolling. Working, parenting and scrolling are an adult’s big 3. So a guy like me, 30 year friendships, always told my best qualities were my personality, sense of humor, depth, heart, and my ability to connect with people through quality conversation and discussion. Communication skills used to be everything. Social skills used to include things like: initiating interaction, making eye contact, not interrupting, active listening, and an extra special social skills I had, according to my friends and their friends and their friends…. I had game! I had no fear. I loved being brave enough and confident enough to spark up a conversation with anyone at any given time. Ladies loved my confidence and they liked how I would break the ice, put good vibes in the air, and fun nights were always had.
I remember when people looked at me like I’ve been in a coma and just woke up 50 years later when I told them I’ve never sent a tweet or a snap. I don’t get it. I don’t want to get it. Well, everyone adapted to twitter culture. 40 characters or less. So about 3 years ago, not only did the phone calls stop and I was limited to everyone’s only preference, texting. However, I guess I wasn’t ready to face the fact that nobody wants to talk OR read so it’s texting only, and if a text takes longer than 3 seconds to read, you’re dropped. I found out all those social skills no longer fit today’s society. Having good social skills today means liking as many pics and vids and posts on social media as possible, sending the shortest texts possible, and understanding that telling stories, reminiscing and bringing up old times, telling jokes, actual discussion, healthy debate, and hearing real laughter are soooooo last decade. Now, remember the kid who sat in back of class in high school with a hood on and their head on their desk, never said a word to anybody? That’s the new prom queen!! Haha. Everyone prefers that now because that person doesn’t inconvenience you by forcing you to use your attention, focus, resist distractions, and take 30 seconds to read a text. You won’t talk to me, you texted me 7 questions. I answered them. He replied, “why you texting me a novel?” That was the first time someone said that to me but it would become extremely common.
I apologized to people and promised to be cognizant of the length of my texts. Nope. I don’t know how to summarize. I’ve always been a talker and I’ve always loved expressing myself both verbally and through writing. Everyone gravitated toward me because of my words. One of my hobbies is screenwriting. I refuse to use AI. I’ll be using it eventually because I’ll have no choice. Now, about a year ago I went to a funeral. Afterward, I’m chatting to lots of old friends I haven’t seen in a long time. I asked about 20 people my age: So, what are your thoughts on suddenly becoming a text only society? These were the only 2 answers I got. About half of them said, “Oh I love it. I hate talking. I’m all for it.” (I thought, so you hated the thousands of conversations we’ve had over the years? Since when do you hate talking??? It was so bizarre.) The other response: “Yeah it’s kinda strange, but, ya know, gotta adapt and just go with it.” And they all said it in such a…. it is what it is and theres nothing we can do about it so might as well learn to embrace our nonverbal society. I felt like I was in the twilight zone. I thought all 20 of the Gen Xers were gonna say, “All I wanna do is hear a real laugh for once! I miss everyone’s distinct voice and distinct laugh. And I can do dishes while talking on the phone, I can fold laundry, I can’t do anything at all when I’m texting and I’m losing about 90 minutes of productivity a day because instead of getting things done while talking or talking while driving, I’m standing in one spot doing one thing only. Responding to texts. I had a friend in college that was one of my all time favorite people to talk to in person. Best smile, super witty, best vibes. She always said my voice was my sexiest attribute after my blue eyes. Well when I called her about a year ago, she didn’t pick up. She texted me, why would you call? Who calls people? I said, you don’t like talking anymore either? She said, “I’d rather walk barefoot through snow for miles than talk on the phone.” I reminded her, you used to say you loved my voice more than anything, are you saying you never wanna hear my voice again? She said, “I guess. Yup. That’s how anti-talking and pro-texting I am. So, of course I send her a lengthy text catching her up on my divorce. after pouring my heart out, she said, “Sucks. No need to text a novel though.” I said, “Shit! Sorry!!”
Am I the last person, not counting geriatrics, that genuinely misses phone calls for actual conversations? And texts were just for “I’m leaving in 5 min.” or “I’m in the lobby.” Texting was for messages too short where there was no point in calling. But now, everyone seems unaware that they are completely brainwashed. These are all the same people that teased millenials and especially Gen Z for never speaking to each other. Never having any physical interaction. We’d say stuff like, kids today have best friends that they’ve never met, they are online buddies and play video games together online but they’ve never met. How tragic. Man, we used to have confidence and we’d approach girls and talk to them, listen to them, ask them to dance, and then ask for a phone number. If I got a phone number, it led to a first date 99% of the time. Over the last 3 months, I’ve chatted girls up in line for coffee and ended up sitting and chatting with 3 of them. All 4 gave me their number and acted very interested and said things like, “You better text me. I don’t give my number out like, ever.” One said, “I feel like I’ve known you forever! You’re so easy to talk to. You want my number?” All 4 of these women never responded to my text (I waited 2 days) “It was so good meeting you the other day. How was your weekend?” That’s it. Nothing too forward or pushy. Nothing. Ghosted. When it happened the first time, I didn’t trip. The second time? I didn’t understand. I thought, she was loving our conversation! She asked me to exchange numbers!! Since I can’t send long texts, I needed a way to express myself so I figured I’d try blogging and maybe someone will read this, it will resonate with you and maybe someone will say, “You’re not alone.” Love to hear thoughts. Thanks for reading everyone.
We create unforgettable experiences by combining your vision with our unmatched skills for standout celebrations.
14-day free trial